Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams


I still don’t really understand how the ending of this book worked, and trying to describe the plot would be like trying to build a submarine out of cheese. Suffice to say that it’s about a detective, and because it’s written by Douglas Adams, it’s batshit insane and involves time travel. So instead, I’ll just share some quotes from this book that I especially loved, because Douglas Adams is the only author in the history of the world who is capable of creating them. Enjoy.

“‘A horse?’ he said again.
‘Yes, it is,’ said the Professor. ‘Wait – ‘ he motioned to Richard, who was about to go out again and investigate – ‘Let it be. It won’t be long.’
Richard stared in disbelief. ‘You say there’s a horse in your bathroom, and all you can do is stand there naming Beatles songs?'”

“Richard stood transfixed for moment or two, wiped his forehead again, and gently replaced the phone as if it were an injured hamster. His brain began to buzz gently and suck its thumb. Lots of little synapses deep inside his cerebral cortex all joined hands and started dancing around and singing nursery rhymes.”

“On the wall was a Duran Duran poster on which someone had scrawled in fat red felt tip, ‘Take this down please.’
Beneath that another hand had scrawled, ‘No.’
Beneath that again the first hand had written, ‘I insist that you take it down.’
Beneath that the second hand had written, ‘Won’t!’
Beneath that – ‘You’re fired!’
Beneath that – ‘Good!’
And there the matter appeared to have rested.”

“‘Welcome, by the way, to my offices.’
He waved a vague hand around the tatty surroundings. ‘The light works,’ he said, indicating the window, ‘the gravity works,’ he said, dropping a pencil on the floor. ‘Anything else we have to take our chances with.'”

“‘Don’t you listen to anything you say? The whole thing was obvious!’ he exclaimed, thumping the table. ‘So obvious that the only thing which prevented me from seeing the solution was the trifling fact that it was completely impossible. Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.'”

Verdict: four out of five stars


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